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You’re laugh-a-minute friends who make a fine comedic duo, but the romance isn’t as hearty as your side-splitting guffaws. You’re amazed by how quickly the other delivers a hilarious comeback or a clever opinion, and it turns you on. Banter leads you to the bedroom fast, where the sex is playful and experimental (though not heavy on the emotional connection). It’s as though you’ve met your twin; and alas, you may soon feel more like siblings than lovers. After a couple weeks, the Bickersons sideshow routine gets old, especially for Aries, and you run out of things to talk about. While casual Aquarius likes to keep the conversation light, Aries has intense, brooding spells that demand way too much emotional attention. For Aquarius, problems are solved with steely logic or left alone, but Aries is unable to curb obsessive thinking, which drives Aquarius mad. Your styles of affection are different, too. Cool Aquarius gets overwhelmed by the Ram’s passion and physicality-there’s way too much touching, grabbing and kissing for the airy Aquarian temperament. If you’re determined to be together, push yourselves to go beyond platonic borders by traveling, taking classes, even performing on stage together. Closeness breeds more ennui than affection. Cultivate mystery through time apart. Your independent signs need to develop your own lives, then reunite with thrilling tales from the road.
AQUARIUS + TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Your signs have so little in common, it’s hard to make a go of this. Old-fashioned Taurus craves tradition, order and security. Rebel Aquarius is an oddball who lives to defy rules and convention. Taurus is an Earth sign who plants deep roots; Air sign Aquarius is an adventurous nomad who goes wherever the wind blows. While you may start out fascinated by each other, the magic ends faster than you can say “pixie dust.” Taurus will quickly offend Aquarius with his heavy-handed opinions and staunch political views. Free-spirited Aquarius will flee from the Bull’s possessive grip, which only clenches tighter the more Aquarius flits about. Then there’s the matter of your social circles, which rarely overlap. Aquarius habitually befriends the most eccentric people-the corner wino who’s solved the string theory, the local fortune teller, his bus driver. While Taurus may humor these characters in passing, all hell breaks loose when Aquarius invites his tribe of wayward souls to spend the weekend, or to sleep on the couch “until they get their act together.” Not on Taurus’ leather club chair and alpaca throw pillows! You can try to compromise, but you’ll only end up short-changing your natural gifts. Aquarius rules the zodiac’s eleventh house of friends and society; he’s the unofficial mayor wherever he goes, and is meant to spread himself among the people. Homebody Taurus has much more earthbound goals. Neither of you will get the satisfaction you crave unless you work hard to compromise.
AQUARIUS + GEMINI (May 21 – June 20) ¦¦¦¦
This match of compatible Air signs can feel a bit like high school romance-teasing, texting, movie dates with jumbo popcorn and licentious groping during the previews. You bring out each other’s breezy, buoyant spirits, and that’s a plus. You’ll bond over TV shows, favorite sci-fi novels and superheroes, obscure philosophers, music. With your clever comebacks and verbal repartee, you could take a comedy act on the road. Although you can both be overly cerebral at times, you prefer la. Eventually, though, you need to get out of the shallow end of the pool. Intimacy is a challenge for your signs. We’re talking true intimacy-being caught with your pants down and no clue how to get them back up. Telling each other your entire life stories in monologue form (which could have happened on the first date) doesn’t count. You must soldier through the post-infatuation “awkward phase,” or you’ll end up feeling like buddies. That would be a shame, as you can make excellent life partners and playmates. The biggie: you’ll both need to give up fibs and lies-particularly lies of omission. You’re excellent storytellers and politicos, gifted at crafting a spin to fit your agenda. However, the naked truth is the only way out of the Matrix. Though it may topple your PR-friendly public image, it’s a necessary risk you must take to build the character and depth of a lasting commitment.